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A husband has been defended online for telling his wife to “get over” the fact that he missed the birth of their daughter.
In a post shared to Reddit’s popular confession forum, “Am I The A**hole,” the man questioned whether he was in the wrong for demanding his partner let things go and move on. The viral post began with the man explaining that he has a job that doesn’t always allow him access to his phone. In fact, sometimes he’s stationed in “the middle of nowhere” for work, but he usually has ample time to plan ahead before he’s sent anywhere without cell phone service.
“My wife was pregnant and at the time I planned to take off work near her due date,” the Reddit user explained. “Unfortunately she went into labor early (about a month early) and I was on an inspection.”
By the time the husband had regained signal, his wife had already gone into labor. When he got to the hospital, she’d already delivered their daughter.
While it’s been about a year and a half since their baby was born, the Reddit user’s partner has continued to hang his absence over his head, using it as ammunition against him in arguments.
“It happens almost every single time from serious arguments to what fast food should we get,” he admitted. “Today was my breaking point, we got into an argument about her wanting to change the daycare situation.”
He continued: “She wants to change daycare to one closer to the home. I do drop off and she does pick up. The only one closer to our home is too expensive and we can not afford it.”
As the two were fighting, the Reddit user’s partner mentioned he wasn’t there for their daughter’s birth. He responded by telling her to “get over that and stop using it in every f****** argument we have.” His wife then angrily called him a “jerk” before storming out.
The Reddit user was unsure as to whether he’s been the “bad guy” in this situation, and asked for the opinions of anonymous readers. While many agreed his wife shouldn’t have continued to remind him of the disappointing fact he missed his daughter’s delivery, some didn’t think he should’ve responded in such a harsh manner.
One reader thought: “NTA but I wouldn’t have brought it up at that moment, during the heat of an argument. I would wait till after things cooled down and talk to her and say how hurtful it is that she keeps bringing that up and that she knows that you had no control over it.”
“This is the definition of both ‘not fighting fair’ and ‘concealing the real issue,’” a second person agreed. “You didn’t miss the birth due to negligence or apathy, you missed it due to work requirements.”
“It sounds like you need to get to the REAL root of her issue. Of course, she is upset you missed it, but even she certainly understands it was unavoidable! There’s something else going on,” another pointed out.
A fourth person said: “She really should not be constantly bringing this up anytime you two have an argument. Marriage counseling might help but ultimately this is entirely on her.”
“If she uses this tactic I’d tell her that if she really wants to talk about (randomly grabbed issue she’s brandishing as a weapon) you will do it at another time,” another suggested.
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