Jennifer Lopez Says Pain Of Divorcing Ben Affleck 'Almost Took Her Out'

The “Maid in Manhattan” actress filed for divorce from the “Argo” star in August after months of speculation that their marriage had hit the rocks.

Though she has maintained a brave face in public appearances since the filing, she now admits that the pain of the separation nearly broke her.

However, Jennifer Lopez has also pointed out that she does not regret her decision to end her marriage to Ben Affleck and is excited for the next chapter of her life.

It’s been over a month since Lopez officially ended the Bennifer love story by filing for divorce from her estranged husband, Affleck.

Though the reasons behind the split remain unclear, Lopez has now broken her silence in a chat with Interview Magazine.

According to the actress, while she does not regret taking the decision, the “pain” of the aftermath almost took her “out for good.”

However, she now views it as the catalyst she needed to steer her life in the direction it was meant to follow.

She shared, “Now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, ‘F-ck, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a f-cking sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again.'”

When asked in the interview about how it feels being single again after her marriage of two years, Lopez admitted it has been an emotional roller coaster for her.

“It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate,” the actress said in the interview.

Still, she has started to accept that sitting in those feelings will only help her build a better version of herself that is “capable of joy and happiness” without external help. The Bronx beauty also mentioned that she now understands that being in a relationship shouldn’t define her in this new phase of her life.

Lopez further remarked, “I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, ‘No, I’m actually good.'”

Although Lopez has yet to finalize her divorce, she looks forward to her new chapter excitedly and does not intend to jump back into the dating pool anytime soon.

The “Monster-in-Law” actress shared, “Now I’m excited, when you say you’re just going to be on your own. Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f-cing do when it’s just me flying on my own.”

But if she does find love again, the actress now understands that the relationship must be one where her partner helps her to be her authentic self.

She noted, “Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better.”

Amid past rumors about her failed marriage, Lopez announced to her fans that her US Summer 2024 Tour ‘THIS IS ME…LIVE’ is canceled.”

At the time, Lopez also shared she was “completely heartsick and devastated” about letting her fans down and promised to “make it up” to them.

In the new interview, the actress seemingly reconfirmed that promise, although she did not give any details about when she would return to the road.

She also reflected once again on how her decision to cancel the tour made her feel bad, but it was a necessary one that she did not regret taking.

Lopez shared, “I was so devastated to let anybody down, but I just needed to be with my kids and myself and really dig down deep into things that were happening in my life. And I’m glad I did, because it was a really difficult time for me. Probably the hardest time of my life, but it was also the best time because I got to do that work on myself.”

As Lopez and Affleck struggle to sell their Beverly Hills marital mansion, the actress is on the hunt for a new place to call home in Los Angeles.

According to TMZ, sources claim the singer has set her sights on a lavish new abode and is looking to buy the famed Azria Estate in the luxe L.A. neighborhood of Holmby Hills.

A source said she is “close to striking a deal” on purchasing the 30,000 sq. foot estate, which has a listing price of $55 million, but that she’s offering between $30 million and $39 million for the property.

Lopez’s interest in the property seems very high, as the insider said she had toured the grounds several times over the past few weeks.

On the other hand, Affleck has already purchased a new home in the Pacific Palisades area of L.A. and has since removed his belongings from his and Lopez’s marital home.